Tag: newbeginnings

Enough with the Procrastination …

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the yoga hustler

Hi, I am Michele.  I am a 52 year old, Taurus woman living in the foothills of Southern California.  I am a mother of two teenagers who is working hard on making a solid relationship with their father, my partner of 21 years.  I am what most people call a late bloomer.  As it goes, I have not not met my full potential, at least I pray this is not it.   This website signifies another new beginning, which means something must end.  

I have spent the majority of my life stuck as a victim of my circumstances.  I was never one of those oh poor me kind of gals.  My victimhood has been fully disguised as a tough as nails girl that will always do the right thing and show up when I am supposed to even if I am shaking in my boots.  I have been a student of every sort of self help imaginable.  An aspirant of healing knowledge, most commonly a “somebody please exorcise my demons” sort of desperate seeking led me to massage, yoga and traditional therapy.   I have read piles of self-help books and experimented with almost every kind of alternative healers.  I tried meds when I was suicidal and they worked to get me out of the abyss.   I have thrown myself at everything from colonics to shamanic healing.  I am by definition a wounded healer.  I found massage and yoga to be the tools that worked and resonated with me most deeply.    I am drawn to the natural and believe without a doubt in my body’s ability to heal itself and reset its course for my divine purpose.    I have spent the past 5, 6 maybe 7 years working with a therapist/mentor to figure out how to cut through my own very clever(I do feel proud of this) bullshit.  Forunately being a Taurus I am stubborn as fuck.  It helps that my mentor is also a stubborn and very patient bull.  Under his guidance I feel that I have grown up, or at the very least caught up. 

I finally figured out the sad truth that I have managed to repress and depress.  It is not enough to know and understand.   I have had the knowledge for years.  It is not enough to revel in the glorious words of our teachers.   I must act!  I must pick up each foot and move.  Preferably forward.  I have spent so many miles walking in circles.  It’s dizzying.  I must be willing to look like a fool.  I must be open to fail.  I must ask for help.  I must do the fucking work.  Yeah, even when I don’t feel like it.  Even when I have a migraine, and am so dang tired without an ounce of energy.  Let’s face it I am not getting any younger and nor are you my friend.

I can endure with the best of the martyrs no more!  I awaken to my potential.  It’s time to grow up, grab that scared little child and supersize her into the highest self already waiting for me.  

I hope that I may inspire, guide, shine a light or be a shoulder for you while I share my experiences, thoughts and new things that I learn.  I expect that yoga will feature prominently as well as my struggles with staying small, clinging to the edge of the pool.  I would love to hear what you are working on.  What keeps you small? What has worked for you on your life path?  

Are you ready to make shit happen?  Are you ready to begin your healing journey?  Then by golly, let’s do this together.  I am here.  You are here.  What a tremendous place to begin.